Nominative Determinism Essay

     I was 18 going on 19 in the year 2012. In Korea, they call the year you turn 19 your "Seongnyun year," in other words, the year you become an adult. In this new year, 2023, eleven years since my "Seongnyun year," I am 29 going on 30. Eleven years have gone by in a flash- it seems like I'll never know where they went. At KMLA, I was a member of the 15th wave- class of 2013. This year, my 26th wave hoobaes will be graduating as the class of 2024. I hope life brings for them many positive changes, as it has done for me.

     One of the positive changes I went through was my attitude towards life. Until my senior year in high school, I was pretty much a fatalist. I though my successes were due to sheer good luck, and my failures were the results of bad karma. Such a mindset prevented me from really trying for the things I wanted, and it made me very afraid of failure. The scariest things in life are the things you cannot control, and I felt like I had no control, even over my own life. I started with the small things- I complimented myself for the little triumphs in my life, and I objectively analyzed the causes of my successes and failures. I started to regain control over my life, actively pursuing the things I wanted for myself.

     This renewed life philosophy was what helped me most in becoming a successful graphic designer. This is a field that required me to put a lot of faith in myself, because the best designs come from trusting your instincts. I learned how to stop overthinking things and go with my gut feelings. Consequently, my designs became more direct, forceful, and effective. People praise the flash of creativity that unfurls itself in my designs, and they often say that looking at my work is like looking at lightening striking across the sky. I am more than grateful for such positive feedback, and I am excited for what's to come in the future.

     Thinking back, the catalyst for all of these positive changes seems to be my 'Seongnyun name.' The name I gave to myself upon turning of age was Levyn. In Chinese characters it meant 'lighting up the world through hard work,' and in Old English it simply meant 'lightening.' I don't subscribe to the whole notion of nominative determinism, but I think giving myself a new name that encompassed all the values I wished to have definitely helped me find my way in life. All of my names- Sunho (big person in the world), Yerin (Pretty child), and Levyn (Lightening)- have shaped my world in some capacity. I sincerely hope that the 26th wavers - who are going through their Seongnyun year - choose the right Seongnyun name for themselves as well.

Gyutae and the 4/7 Debate

http://gyutaep.blogspot.com/2012/04/response-to-misos-writing-about-47.html#comment-form

"Does true altruism exist?" seems to be the question that you are focusing on. You argue that true altruism cannot exist, that it is only a concept. I think in similar lines, but I don't think it's predetermined either way. You can argue with your examples for intrinsic goodness as well- for example, the drowning man example can be used to argue that intrinsic goodness exists because you still see people who reach out their hands even when they are aware of the dangers. That said, I do not believe that humans are inherently good- the only way we can determine whether we are 'inherently' good or bad is to analyze our actions, and the results of the actions. However, I believe that our actions are more influenced by nurture rather than nature- nature provides the ingredients, but it's nurture that does the cooking.

journal sketch 3/30

vivre le colour, journal sketch 3/30/2012

Writing projects, art projects, photography projects are all good, but sometimes I just need some time to spend with myself and to just let my ideas flow without worrying where I'm going with them. The things I draw, paint, or write during these periods are often the ones that I'm most comfortable with. They're very personal, and they help me communicate with myself :) 

Yesterday I spent about 4 hours, listening to music and watching The Voice while I was working on this. I don't think the music playing in the background really influenced what came out--I think the things that I expressed on the paper yesterday were just the things that I'd been keeping bottled inside for quite some time now. Though I was really tired after I finished, it felt good, like I'd been talking to a trustworthy friend. 

Letter to myself [rough draft]

Writing project- re-writing lyrics to a song :)

6 AM, a world without meaning

I open my eyes but it's always the same old walls again,

Walls that set me in my reality

I don't know how,

I don't even know why

I just know I want to be a part of somewhere else,

Escaping into my own world

Where dreamers still exist,

not scared to be daring

Where I can fly

liberty from my own walls

A place I'll never reach but a place I keep running t…o

But someday

You'll wake up and you will come to realize

You've been dreaming, in your world, all along

You just have to embrace yourself for who you are

It's not the walls, it's you that limits you now.

Cathedrals

"We are the artists of the time,
We dream in sculpture, dream in rhyme
For you we bring our world alive
So something will survive.

From nowhere came the age of the cathedrals,

the old world began-

a new unknown thousand years.

For man just has to climb up where the stars are,

and live beyond life-

live in glass and live in stone"

-Musical Notre Dame de Paris

"Les Temps des Cathedrales" (Age of the Cathedrals)

Nave of St. Sernin's Cathedral
Toulouse, France

      My neck stars to ache, but I cannot stop. I am looking up, falling up into the rib vaults of the ambulatory here at St. Sernin's Cathedral. Just six months earlier, I had seen this image in my art history books, but the Art Through the Ages had not prepared me for this. The precision of each stone, the magnitude of each vault is overwhelming. Looking up at the tip of the dome, I literally fell upwards; I felt as if I was being sucked into the dome.

     Cathedrals inspire me not only with their sheer magnitudes, but also with the philosophy embedded in them. Romanesque and Gothic cathedrals with their astounding naves, a long hollow hallway with a ceiling so high, encasing a space so large, allow me to feel both solitude and togetherness at the same time. Cathedrals are about craftsmanship, but they're ultimately about "living beyond life" as Gringoire in the musical Notre Dame de Paris puts it. No cathedral was built in just one generation- the people who worked on the cathedral knew they would not live to see it finished. Yet so many people within one community, all members in the community, worked tirelessly on them. All these people while building the cathedral transcended their daily lives, forgetting individualism and tying themselves as a part of a larger society. Cathedrals were not one person's art, they were owned by the community at large. This meme regarding individualism and at the same time, community, is the key idea represented by cathedrals.

Death of an Orange

Experiment with stop-motion video making :)
This is my first time trying to use the stop-motion technique, and this was literally a trial run- the clip was made in just an hour. I just wanted to get the feel of making a stop-motion film and explore its possibilities. The result (and the process) was satisfactory-more projects to come!

There is another sky- Emily Dickinson

Sky @ KMLA- March 9th 2012

There is Another Sky- Emily Dickinson

There is another sky,

Ever serene and fair,

And there is another sunshine,

Though it be darkness there;

Never mind faded forests, Austin,

Never mind silent fields -

Here is a little forest,

Whose leaf is ever green;

Here is a brighter garden,

Where not a frost has been;

In its unfading flowers

I hear the bright bee hum:

Prithee, my brother,

Into my garden come!

Sky @ KMLA 2, March 9th 2012

Blindness [1]

* Topic: Write an essay about fear. 

1st rough draft- 20 minutes

Thunk, thunk.

The absence of light is something you cannot fight. No option exists of flight; you do not know which way is right. Even the darkness of night is not darkness quite, the lining of the fabric not at all tight. Your eyes project white, yearning for once again bright.

Thunk, thunk.

Every step is a miracle. You cannot see; your eyes are open but you cannot see. Your eyes protest, blinking furiously and shedding tears, they long to be of use to you. But they cannot help you. They apologize for being able to do nothing but give you a picture of black. You don’t know which way to turn. Your eyes cannot help you. You turn your head from side to side, trying to make sense of this world. If it is a world. To you, it looks like nothingness. Blackness destroys your sense of orientation, but it also separates you from the rest of the world. You do not see other people, you do not see any other things. You are completely, and totally, alone.

Thunk, thunk.

That’s the only sound you hear. You tap the ground once again with your cane, thunk thunk. That’s the only sound that tells you you’re still alive. That’s the only sound that tells you you’re still on the ground. Thunk, thunk. You begin to concentrate on the smallest details of the sound. You sense the motion of that sound. You feel the cane’s slight shiver as it comes into contact with the ground; your hand also vibrates and you feel a tingle up your arms.

Thunk, thunk.

Yes, there is ground in front of you. You can walk. You can take a step. Trust your cane. You raise your right foot, toes first, and you feel it. Your toes skim the cold concrete floor just so, just on the surface so that you will not fall even if there’s nothing there. It’s still your left leg that holds you upright; you cannot risk leaning on your right leg in case there is nothing there. In your head, you know the ground is there. Thunk, thunk—the cane told you. But when you’re alone, you lose trust. Even in yourself, you lose trust. Trust makes you unafraid, trust makes you sure of yourself. In total darkness, in complete solitutde, you lose trust.

Pat, squeak.

The rubber soles of your tennis shoes gleefully squeaks as it makes contact with the ground. The ground is hard, solid, and stable. You will not fall. You shift your weight to your right leg. You plant it firmly on the ground, easing on your left leg. One step. Complete.

Pat, squeak.

Pat, squeak, pat, squeak.

Thunk, thunk.

Thunk, thunk.

Slowly you let the darkness envelop you. You fall gently into the soft velvety fabric of pitch black, letting it caress you and cover every part of your body. Several steps. Hardest steps. Slowly you see that the world is not pitch black. You see colors, again. You see the red of the fear you went through, you see the purple of the sound your shoe makes. You see the gray stubs of concrete, even the small brittles on its surface. Your eyes cannot see, but your senses can see.

Light is not bright; darkness is true sight.

Live, Laugh, Love

Vivre le colour- experience the color.

[review-art] Magnum Exhibition- Access to Life

Magnum Exhibition: Access to Life

2011.11.23~2012.3.4

Hangaram Art Hall at the Seoul Arts Center

*About the Magnum Exhibition: 

"Magnum Photos is a photographic cooperative of great diversity and distinction owned by its photographer members. With powerful individual vision, Magnum photographers chronicle the world and interpret its peoples, events, issues and personalities.

The Magnum Photos library is a living archive updated daily with new work from across the globe. You may search or browse our 500,000+ images which are available online for licensing in a variety of formats." 
http://www.magnumphotos.com/ 
Led by Steve McCurry, a team of Magnum photographers went to AIDS-stricken places all over the world, meeting with AIDS patients and their families and capturing their lives through a camera lens. They returned 4 months later to the same people, or in some cases, the same peoples' graves. The regions covered are Hanoi, Vietnam (Steve McCurry) Haiti (Jonas Bendikssen) Mali (Paolo Pellegrin) Russia (Alex Majoli) India (Jim Goldberg) South Africa and Swaziland (Larry Towell) Peru (Eli Reed) and Rwanda (Gilles Peress). Though each photographer presented different ways to approach the topic and express their messages, the exhibition as a whole focused on visual storytelling- photo storytelling. "A photograph of the tragedy can change the tragedy"-with this message, the Magnum exhibition strives to speak of the AIDS tragedy to the world.

Steve McCurry- Hanoi, Vietnam

The Magnum exhibition was a heavy one for me, both because of the subject matter and also because I was trying hard to focus on each photograph and each section. It was interesting to see how the 8 different photographers took the same project and dealt with it in different ways, using different methods and different styles. Each photographer, I think, had the same three major themes of the subject matter in their minds, but the extent of each theme being expressed differed from photographer to photographer. These three most prevalent themes were (1) death (and the importance of life) (2) human relationships (3) social prejudice. Again, these three themes were dealt with in different amounts by each author—for example, Steve McCurry’s photographs showed the individual within a family, emphasizing the (2) human relationships and played with the idea of (3) social prejudice, but the images focused more on the (2) human relationships. In contrast, Jonas Bendiksen’s photographs (especially the self-portraits) focused on the individual and his/her journey to death, with almost no mention of human relationships and social prejudice.

Jim Goldgerg- India

It was also interesting to see how each photographer, recreated the relationship of the society and the individual of the different areas they were assigned to. Paolo Pellegrin, who was assigned to Mali, portrayed the dark home interiors and the individuals to show how the patients were isolated from society. Jim Goldberg’s photos from India, however, portray a much larger scope of a different society—a society where a strict caste system dominates everyday life, yet where a deadly disease has dared to upset the barriers that divide each caste. In his pictures, the individual is only part of the story—he tells of a larger story that encompasses the whole Indian society by telling the lives of his subjects.

Jonas Bendikssen- Haiti

Steve McCurry’s photographs focused on the family unit. His photographs showed everyday images of the family he was assigned to, and his subjects were not the individuals with AIDS, but their families as a whole. I liked how they were silent and observing, unobtrusive to the families at the other side of the camera, because it was this quality that made the images powerful.

Paolo Pellegrin- Mali

Paolo Pellegrin’s photographs seemed staged, which added to its powerfulness. The usage of light and shadow emphasized the photographer’s idea of the sanctity of life. The images had a mythical quality, especially the way they played with light and the colors. There were several photographs that stood out, including the photograph of a window with light pouring out of it, in front of which a woman was sitting. Because the background light was so bright, the woman’s body was nothing more than a shadow. I remember its vivid quality, especially the deep emerald green of the curtain that seemed to glow as light shined through it. The texture for some reason reminded me of the portraits done by Ingres. Traces of Ingres were also present in how the photographer captured the expressions of his subjects, especially in the close-up photo of a woman, with a focus on her eyes.

Eli Reed- Peru

Eli Reed in the photographer’s statement said that he focused on the human relationships of his subjects, particularly the ones between family and friends. One of the interesting characteristics visible in all of his photographs was that his subjects never made eye contact with the camera, choosing instead to look slightly off the camera or act as if the camera did not exist at all. Also, though he said that he focused on relationships, all of his photographs showed his subjects alone—none of his photographs showed his subjects in the midst of an interaction. His most interesting subject was a Peruvian cross-dresser who contracted AIDS. His photographs told the story of his recovery, and there was one particular photo that depicted the cross dresser sitting in a corner with two mirrors—the two mirrors created 4 planes within the photograph, quite literally portraying the parallel worlds the subject was entrapped in.

I think it was Jim Goldberg rather than Eli Reed who managed to deal with the themes of human relationships and social responsibilities through his photographs. Utilizing a mixture of portraits and statements written in his subjects’ own handwriting rendered in vivid colors, he emphasized that AIDS counteracts even the strictest of divisions among social classes. Even the invisible yet sturdy walls of the Indian caste system were not concrete enough to limit the strike of AIDS to a lower class. This message was reinforced through his pictures, which depicted his subjects in their ordinary settings. He also utilized a ‘moving portrait’ which was a short video clip showing his subjects staring into the camera. These moving portraits reminded me of the portraits done by Ingres, because unlike photographs these moving portraits showed a fuller and perhaps more complete image of the subjects. Though I did not find them as striking as I surmised they were meant to be, they were different from the flash moment a photograph captures.

Gilles Peress - Rwanda

Gilles Peress contributed a slideshow of Rwandan AIDS victims that was accompanied by a recording of a song sung by his subjects. The sheer quantity of the pictures, and the speed at which the pictures transitioned stopped the audience from mulling over each picture as they had done for previous authors’ works. Instead, it was effective in its way of ‘subtle storytelling,’ which effectively communicated the overall atmosphere of the country captured in his lens. Larry Towell’s exhibition space was similar, drawing the audience directly into the land he captured by using no frames on his pictures and dotting the walls with handwritten quotes along with everyday objects taken from the subjects’ homes. This was fitting with his artists’ statement, in which he said that the photographer’s role is to watch those with power by spending time with the powerless. He literally takes his audience into the lives of his subjects, making his audience spend time with the powerless. Alex Majoli used a similar technique, but his exhibition space was very different in that it was very calculated. The frames, the wall color, even the spaces between the frames were carefully considered in his attempt at visual storytelling—which was very different from the free attempt used by Peress in his subtle storytelling method.

Alex Majoli- Russia

Larry Towell- South Africa and Swaziland

Future of KPOP / Social impact of pop culture

The entertainment industry reflects and spreads ideas that exist within the society. Since there are many ideas going around within the society, the entertainment industry also reflects diverse ideas within the society. The article we discussed in class about SHINEE and Narsha and how their music videos reflect Illuminati ideas didn’t really convince me. It argued that these music videos have a subconscious effect on the viewers, by feeding them ideas regarding complete obedience to authority and complying with oppression. I think these ideas have been present in the society from the beginning of time, and were inducted into pop culture by iconic works such as George Orwell’s 1984: in my opinion, these music videos are merely referencing these symbols as a work of art. If the viewers choose to analyze it (or rather, overanalyze it) and to read it just as a piece of political propaganda, they can. However, I would like to point out that this is not the only idea that dominates the entertainment industry and that the content can be interpreted in many different ways just as convincingly. 

What does Yerin mean?

So many movies, books, and people always emphasize the importance of having a meaningful name and calling a person by his/her true name. A name constitutes an important part of one’s identity—being called ‘the’ name often represents a kind of acceptance of identity in literature, as Squeak from the novel The Color Purple did.

            Perhaps this is the reason why so many people are surprised when they find out that my father made my ‘official name’ (the name on my official documents such as my birth certificate) on the fly—in just a couple of hours before he had to leave for a business trip. ‘Yerin’ is a name that is quite common; one can quite easily see this from the fact that there are four ‘Yerin’s in our school population of 450. The other three ‘Yerin’ names are based on Chinese characters, and they were names chosen after much careful thought. My name, however, is Korean; in fact, it’s a shortened version of a phrase that means, quite simply, ‘pretty child.’ Most people think I’m joking when they hear this, but I’m not—I am literally the ‘pretty child.’

            Simplistic as it is, I do like my name. It’s a name that has given me great opportunities, not to mention how great it is for a conversation starter. When I explain my name to people I meet for the first time, it breaks the ice quite nicely and makes it easier for me to leave an impression. I do have another name that I go by—Sunho—but this is reserved for family and close family friends. I do believe that Sunho may more accurately represent me, and I am considering changing my ‘official name’ to Sunho one day. But for now, I’m happy to be the ‘pretty child.’